If you can't say something nice ...

We've probably all been told at some point in our lives "If you can't say something nice about somebody, don't say anything".  That's pretty good advice.  Sometimes, we even extend this idea from not saying something unkind directly to someone to not saying anything negative, even behind another's back.

I remember several years ago thinking about the concept of being intentionally positive with my words.  As I was mulling this idea over in my head, I had an idea of my own.  What if instead of just not saying negative things, I actually told people all the good things that I say about them behind their backs?

You know what I mean.  You're talking with one friend about another friend; more than talking, you're actually bragging about your friend.  "She's so nice" ... "He's so smart" ... "I like it when so and so does such and such" ... and on and on.  I'm talking about genuinely nice things, compliments that anyone would like to hear.

Well, what if ...

• Instead of just saying those things about another person, I decided to say them to the person?
• I made a conscious effort to tell people the nice things that I say about them?
• I let others know, to their faces, the good and the great that I see in them?
• I even repeat to them the positive feedback I've heard about them from others?

This thought occurred to me several years ago and I've been trying to do this ever since.  I'll bump into a buddy and as we're talking, I'll recall a nice thing I've said about him to someone else. And, so I just tell him, "Hey, I was telling so and so about you the other day and how much I appreciate this about you."

I've enjoyed seeing the responses to this positive feedback.  Almost everyone smiles.  After all, who doesn't like hearing something nice about themselves?  Most people say something like "Thanks.  That's so nice of you."  Some are caught off-guard at first, not quite knowing what to do when they learn that kind words are being spread about them.
Recently, I heard some really nice things about the son of a friend of mine.  A few days later, I see this friend.  So, I tell her all the great things that I was told about her son.  Boy, did her eyes light up!  And all I did was simply repeat the kind words that I had heard.

There is a lot of negative in our world.  Many mean things are said.  Many hurtful words are aimed at us and those around us.  So, let's bring some nice into the picture.  I'm sure you say nice things about people.  Now just make sure you say the same nice things to them.

Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace..."

What I Learned This Week - Part Two

In my last post, I talked about things I learned from my second grader's class as they shared "All About...".  This week, I want to share some lessons from a trip I took with my fifth grade daughter's class to Camp Potawotami.  This trip is an annual tradition for the fifth graders at our school and is a journey full of fun and games, team building and individual challenge, as well as some good educational opportunities.

One of the individual challenges was a rock-climbing wall.  Not just any wall, this was a 50 foot high, vertical rock wall.  It was encouraging to see how every student in our group jumped right in, with no apparent hesitation.  There were no failures, as long as you put both feet on the wall, you had climbed.  All of our students made it at least 15 feet up the wall.

As a dad, I'm proud to say that my daughter was the first in our group to scale the whole wall, all 50 feet of it.  It was hard to keep climbing ... fingers were cold ... muscles were tired.  But she, and a couple of others in our group, persevered.  Pausing at times to catch a breath, rest for a moment, then continuing on - that's the way the wall was climbed.

Makes me wonder if that's how I should approach some things in my own life ... jump right in, set a small goal (two feet on the wall), pause to rest when needed, push through some pain at times, but always continue the pursuit.  After all, the view from the top can only be truly appreciated by those who work to the end.

An educational goal for the trip was to expose the students to the Underground Railroad.  All of the students and some of the adults were cast as slaves.  We worked for the master.  We had to keep our heads down and were limited to "yes sir" or "no ma'am" responses.  We were told what to do, how to do it, when to start, and when to stop.

Eventually, we had our chance to escape.  There were some along the way who helped us on our journey and others whose only interest was to return us to the master to claim a reward.  Some risked their lives to ensure we made it to freedom.  Others were only interested in "calling the sheriff".

As we found our way along the trail with but one lantern for our group of 15, we stayed close to each other, dependent on the steps of the one just ahead and in turn leaving our footprints to guide the one just behind.  It was a group effort ending at a celebration of freedom for one and all.

A primary lesson from an experience like this is empathy - putting yourself in someone else's shoes.   What must it have been like to be ordered around?  How difficult to travel at night and hide during the day?  Whom can you trust?  While just a couple hours long, this adventure left an impression on the students; one they will long remember.

And, I hope to remember it too.  For there are many times when I need to see things from the point of view of others, to feel what they feel, to experience life as they do.  This provides a chance for deeper impact, for life beyond the surface, for interaction that is memorable and meaningful.

As I consider what these fifth graders were facing, I'm wondering whose steps I'm following and whose following in my steps.  Am I close enough to the ones just ahead and behind me to ensure we stay connected as we travel life together?

I trust you've had a chance to think about what you've been learning lately.  Maybe a lesson on empathy or perseverance or camaraderie?  My sense is that it's always good to be reminded of these things, so we can continue our climb up the wall.

II Peter 3:18 "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

What I Learned This Week - Part One

Fifty + one ... one week that is.

I couldn't have predicted what I have learned during this first week of being 50.  Of course, I don't suppose I could ever have known in advance what I was going to learn in a week.  If you know what you're going to learn, then do you already know it?

Anyway, this week I learned all about a bunch of different topics.  My second grade daughter's class held a Prezi night.  If you're not familiar with Prezi, it is a web-based presentation software.  Each student in the class used Prezi to present material from an "All About (fill in the blank)" book that the student had written earlier in the year.  This week the students had the chance to share their All About ... books via a Prezi.

So, I learned All About a number of things.  Each student was allowed to pick a favorite topic  Here's the list from our Prezi night:

     Tape               Tennis               Candy                 Horses
     Geckos            Money              Singing               Cats
     Brothers         Bikes                Guinea Pigs

I must admit that my favorite topic from this list was tape, mostly because it was my daughter's topic.  The girl makes some great stuff out of tape, especially duct tape ... it really is one of her favorite things.  But, honestly, she could have written "All About Ketchup & Mustard" and it would have been my favorite ... and anyone who knows me knows that I don't like ketchup or mustard.  What's a dad to do?

While I probably don't realize all that I learned that night, some of the lessons include:

• Wow, what kids can do with technology is amazing (and I'm in the technology business).
• I'm thankful for teachers who find ways, such as using the Prezi tool, to help students grow, not only in the use of technology, but also in preparing and presenting a speech.
• There is always something new to learn, so I need to be looking for new topics to discover and new ways to learn.
• There is always someone new who can be your teacher.  As an example, one of my daughter's classmates is blind.  She memorized her presentation and, with just a little help, gave it almost flawlessly.  She is one inspirational kid!
• I need to look for new ways to present what I've learned and be willing to share that knowledge with those who want to learn.

Next week I'll share about some lessons I learned from an adventure with my other daughter's class, but enough about me and what I'm learning ... what have you learned lately and how?  Share something in the comments.  And, if you can't think of anything to share, challenge yourself to learn something new this week and then come back to share it.

John 1:16 "For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."

50 for 50

Well, I made it.  I accomplished something that is certainly not unique, nor uncommon.  Many of you have reached this point, some long ago, some more recently.  The rest of you are still approaching the place where I now find myself.  I'm 50.

(pause for a polite smattering of applause)

I feel neither frightened nor elated about turning 50.  It feels like pretty much every other day, except that the tens digit at the beginning of my age has incremented.  Of course, that's nothing new ... not even for me, as I've had it happen four other times in my life.

Yet somehow, 50 seems significant.  So, I thought, in light of turning fifty, maybe I should try to do something different.  Some people decide to climb mountains (I've done that, sort of) or learn new languages (I've done that, long ago) or change careers (I've done that, and then returned).  One friend of mine recently turned 40 and decided to do some unthinkable amount of exercises each day all based around the number 40.  While I could use a bit more exercise, that's not the challenge for me.

My challenge to myself for this year is what I'm calling "50 for 50".  Simply this ... I'm challenging myself to write 50 blog entries this year.  Many of you are thinking something along the lines of "You know, Jonny, there are 52 weeks in a year".  I do know that, but I thought I'd give myself a couple of weeks off, 'cause you never know what's going to happen.

This first entry is fairly easy ... I mean it's practically writing itself.  I just needed to tell you that I had a birthday (no need to sing) and now I need to tell you why I'm writing 50 for 50.  As mentioned above, I wanted some sort of challenge for the year, something that I had not done before, something that would stretch me, something that would force me to focus a little each week.

When my wife asked me why I wanted to do this, I told her that I was hoping to provide a little encouragement, maybe even some inspiration.  After 50 years of life, I trust that I have something to say on a subject or two that might be meaningful, not only to me, but also to someone else.

I'm calling this blog Grace Invasion because my life experience says that the grace of God is what makes life worth living.  In fact, it's simply what makes life livable. I plan to write about life and about grace (the real answer to so many of life's difficulties) and about other stuff that crosses my mind.

II Corinthians 2:9  "My grace is sufficient for you..."