The Lunch List

A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with a friend of mine.  We used to work together, are both fathers to elementary school kids, and have a fondness for doughnuts ... admittedly he likes them a little more than I do - the doughnuts, not the kids.

As we were wrapping up our time together, he asked me if there was a particular reason that I had asked him to meet for lunch.  Frankly, there was a specific reason, so I told him, "you're on my lunch list."  "What's a lunch list", he asked ... and you might be asking the same question, so allow me to explain.

About three years ago, I broke a bone in my ankle.  While my leg was healing, I wasn't able to drive, so I was dependent on people giving me rides.  If I wanted to go out for lunch, I had to find someone to take me.  By the time I was back to driving, I had developed quite a list of lunch time buddies.  That was the start of the lunch list.

I reviewed the list and considered a few things ...

• It's great to have dependable friends who can help in a time of need.
• I have been blessed with lots of great men to call friends.
• Lunch is a great way to share a little life together.
• Perhaps, I shouldn't let this be a list for the past, but a list for the present.

It was this last thought that sparked the idea of my current lunch list.  The list I now keep is a group of men with whom I intentionally strive to keep in touch. These are men whose lives are important to me.  They are men who bring value to me.  These men pour into me in some way,  I want to pour into their lives as well.  These are "iron sharpens iron" kind of men.

But, how can I ensure that I stay involved in their lives in a way that lets us impact each other.  My life can be busy - I'm sure the same is true for you.  I have much to do and seemingly less and less time to accomplish it all.  I keep to-do lists to help me remember important things in the midst of my busy life.  So, it makes even more sense to keep a list of important people that I don't want to miss along the way. My lunch list is just that - a simple way to help me stay connected to those who mean much to me.

Do you have a "lunch list"?  If so, whose on it?  Who should be added?  If not, start one ... today ... right now.  Write down some names.  Then reach out to someone on your list and invite 'em to lunch.  And when you're asked why, you can talk about your lunch list.

John 1:17 "...grace and truth came through Jesus..." 

If you can't say something nice ...

We've probably all been told at some point in our lives "If you can't say something nice about somebody, don't say anything".  That's pretty good advice.  Sometimes, we even extend this idea from not saying something unkind directly to someone to not saying anything negative, even behind another's back.

I remember several years ago thinking about the concept of being intentionally positive with my words.  As I was mulling this idea over in my head, I had an idea of my own.  What if instead of just not saying negative things, I actually told people all the good things that I say about them behind their backs?

You know what I mean.  You're talking with one friend about another friend; more than talking, you're actually bragging about your friend.  "She's so nice" ... "He's so smart" ... "I like it when so and so does such and such" ... and on and on.  I'm talking about genuinely nice things, compliments that anyone would like to hear.

Well, what if ...

• Instead of just saying those things about another person, I decided to say them to the person?
• I made a conscious effort to tell people the nice things that I say about them?
• I let others know, to their faces, the good and the great that I see in them?
• I even repeat to them the positive feedback I've heard about them from others?

This thought occurred to me several years ago and I've been trying to do this ever since.  I'll bump into a buddy and as we're talking, I'll recall a nice thing I've said about him to someone else. And, so I just tell him, "Hey, I was telling so and so about you the other day and how much I appreciate this about you."

I've enjoyed seeing the responses to this positive feedback.  Almost everyone smiles.  After all, who doesn't like hearing something nice about themselves?  Most people say something like "Thanks.  That's so nice of you."  Some are caught off-guard at first, not quite knowing what to do when they learn that kind words are being spread about them.
Recently, I heard some really nice things about the son of a friend of mine.  A few days later, I see this friend.  So, I tell her all the great things that I was told about her son.  Boy, did her eyes light up!  And all I did was simply repeat the kind words that I had heard.

There is a lot of negative in our world.  Many mean things are said.  Many hurtful words are aimed at us and those around us.  So, let's bring some nice into the picture.  I'm sure you say nice things about people.  Now just make sure you say the same nice things to them.

Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace..."

What I Learned This Week - Part Two

In my last post, I talked about things I learned from my second grader's class as they shared "All About...".  This week, I want to share some lessons from a trip I took with my fifth grade daughter's class to Camp Potawotami.  This trip is an annual tradition for the fifth graders at our school and is a journey full of fun and games, team building and individual challenge, as well as some good educational opportunities.

One of the individual challenges was a rock-climbing wall.  Not just any wall, this was a 50 foot high, vertical rock wall.  It was encouraging to see how every student in our group jumped right in, with no apparent hesitation.  There were no failures, as long as you put both feet on the wall, you had climbed.  All of our students made it at least 15 feet up the wall.

As a dad, I'm proud to say that my daughter was the first in our group to scale the whole wall, all 50 feet of it.  It was hard to keep climbing ... fingers were cold ... muscles were tired.  But she, and a couple of others in our group, persevered.  Pausing at times to catch a breath, rest for a moment, then continuing on - that's the way the wall was climbed.

Makes me wonder if that's how I should approach some things in my own life ... jump right in, set a small goal (two feet on the wall), pause to rest when needed, push through some pain at times, but always continue the pursuit.  After all, the view from the top can only be truly appreciated by those who work to the end.

An educational goal for the trip was to expose the students to the Underground Railroad.  All of the students and some of the adults were cast as slaves.  We worked for the master.  We had to keep our heads down and were limited to "yes sir" or "no ma'am" responses.  We were told what to do, how to do it, when to start, and when to stop.

Eventually, we had our chance to escape.  There were some along the way who helped us on our journey and others whose only interest was to return us to the master to claim a reward.  Some risked their lives to ensure we made it to freedom.  Others were only interested in "calling the sheriff".

As we found our way along the trail with but one lantern for our group of 15, we stayed close to each other, dependent on the steps of the one just ahead and in turn leaving our footprints to guide the one just behind.  It was a group effort ending at a celebration of freedom for one and all.

A primary lesson from an experience like this is empathy - putting yourself in someone else's shoes.   What must it have been like to be ordered around?  How difficult to travel at night and hide during the day?  Whom can you trust?  While just a couple hours long, this adventure left an impression on the students; one they will long remember.

And, I hope to remember it too.  For there are many times when I need to see things from the point of view of others, to feel what they feel, to experience life as they do.  This provides a chance for deeper impact, for life beyond the surface, for interaction that is memorable and meaningful.

As I consider what these fifth graders were facing, I'm wondering whose steps I'm following and whose following in my steps.  Am I close enough to the ones just ahead and behind me to ensure we stay connected as we travel life together?

I trust you've had a chance to think about what you've been learning lately.  Maybe a lesson on empathy or perseverance or camaraderie?  My sense is that it's always good to be reminded of these things, so we can continue our climb up the wall.

II Peter 3:18 "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."