If you can't say something nice ...

We've probably all been told at some point in our lives "If you can't say something nice about somebody, don't say anything".  That's pretty good advice.  Sometimes, we even extend this idea from not saying something unkind directly to someone to not saying anything negative, even behind another's back.

I remember several years ago thinking about the concept of being intentionally positive with my words.  As I was mulling this idea over in my head, I had an idea of my own.  What if instead of just not saying negative things, I actually told people all the good things that I say about them behind their backs?

You know what I mean.  You're talking with one friend about another friend; more than talking, you're actually bragging about your friend.  "She's so nice" ... "He's so smart" ... "I like it when so and so does such and such" ... and on and on.  I'm talking about genuinely nice things, compliments that anyone would like to hear.

Well, what if ...

• Instead of just saying those things about another person, I decided to say them to the person?
• I made a conscious effort to tell people the nice things that I say about them?
• I let others know, to their faces, the good and the great that I see in them?
• I even repeat to them the positive feedback I've heard about them from others?

This thought occurred to me several years ago and I've been trying to do this ever since.  I'll bump into a buddy and as we're talking, I'll recall a nice thing I've said about him to someone else. And, so I just tell him, "Hey, I was telling so and so about you the other day and how much I appreciate this about you."

I've enjoyed seeing the responses to this positive feedback.  Almost everyone smiles.  After all, who doesn't like hearing something nice about themselves?  Most people say something like "Thanks.  That's so nice of you."  Some are caught off-guard at first, not quite knowing what to do when they learn that kind words are being spread about them.
Recently, I heard some really nice things about the son of a friend of mine.  A few days later, I see this friend.  So, I tell her all the great things that I was told about her son.  Boy, did her eyes light up!  And all I did was simply repeat the kind words that I had heard.

There is a lot of negative in our world.  Many mean things are said.  Many hurtful words are aimed at us and those around us.  So, let's bring some nice into the picture.  I'm sure you say nice things about people.  Now just make sure you say the same nice things to them.

Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace..."